How to Whiten Sensitive Teeth at Home (SPONSORED)

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, aka sponsored links designed to keep Haley Marie Blog alive. But don't worry - all of the opinions are still my own!

Additionally, as you will soon learn, Smile Brilliant sent me their product in exchange for an honest review of their services. I have tried to remain as impartial as possible when writing this post, and I hope it shows! If you have any questions, comments or concerns, feel free to let me know in the comments below.

Hello, beautiful! It's time to talk about something you probably don't think about a lot (unless you're self-conscious of it like me): your teeth!

I can personally attest to how your teeth impact the way you look and feel about yourself. I never felt confident in the way I looked as a child, when my mouth was crowded and my teeth were crooked. When I had braces, I felt hyper-aware of the painful metal wrapped around my teeth and couldn't wait to get them off. It wasn't until I got my braces off that I began to feel more confident in my smile - and then I started to think about whitening.

My family's plan had always been to have my teeth professionally whitened after I got my braces off, just like my cousin did when he got his removed. However, the dentist basically said that I was too young and my teeth were too sensitive for the ZOOM procedure. I was stuck with drugstore white strips that never worked and coffee stains galore from late nights studying at school.

That's why I was so excited when Smile Brilliant reached out to me to show you how you can easily get whiter teeth - without going to the dentist, or even leaving your dorm room! They sent me their whitening system for sensitive teeth so I could show you my whitening routine and give you my best tips for a brighter smile.

One reason why I'm so passionate about Smile Brilliant is that the brand is 100% cruelty-free and vegan! As a vegan, I love beauty and health products, but I don't want to compromise my animal-friendly lifestyle just to look pretty. Thankfully, Smile Brilliant doesn't work with or own any factories or labs that test on animals and derives all of their ingredients - including glycerin - from vegetable sources. So, I can get whiter teeth without feeling guilty, because I know that no animals had to suffer to bring me their products!

So, here's how I whitened with Smile Brilliant's vegan and cruelty-free whitening system for sensitive teeth, what I do #whileIwhiten and all my best tips for getting the happy, healthy smile you crave - without ever leaving your dorm room (I promise!).

How to Use Smile Brilliant

The Smile Brilliant system was created by dental professionals to help busy gals like you and me access the professional whitening tools used by dentists in our everyday lives! (Which is pretty cool, if you ask me.)

The first thing I did when I received the Smile Brilliant system was to take impressions of my teeth using the kit Smile Brilliant sent me. The kit consists of two putties, a base and a catalyst, that you mix in your hands and press into the tray. Then, you use the trays to take impressions of your top and bottom teeth and send them in to the Smile Brilliant lab, where Smile Brilliant's professionals begin to craft your custom-made trays for whitening! Yay!

In about a week, Smile Brilliant sent back my custom-fitted trays - and I've gotta say, they fit perfectly. I seriously have no complaints! So, now that you have your trays, it's time to talk about the good stuff: the whitening process.

Step One: Whitening Gel Treatment

The first step in the Smile Brilliant system is the actual whitening process. Before I even began, I brushed my teeth with just water and tried to dry them as well as possible (not pictured). Then, I grabbed my custom whitening trays and began to prep for the whitening process.

The Smile Brilliant  whitening gel comes in a syringe. Each syringe contains 3-4 applications, and each Smile Brilliant kit contains three syringes. (For reference, most people must complete 7-14 whitening sessions to see optimum results!) 

After you break the removable tip off the end of the syringe, you press the plunger to squeeze a thin line of the whitening gel along the inner front surface of your trays, aka the part of the tray that comes into contact with the front surface of your teeth. Then, all I had to do was wear the trays for between 45 minutes and three hours and wait for them to work their whitening magic! 

Step Two: Desensitizing Gel Treatment

After you've worn the trays long enough (generally, you should try to wear them longer for the best results but can remove them earlier if you experience sensitivity), you can take them off and rinse them, drying them as best as you can. You should also brush your teeth with your ordinary toothpaste before completing the desensitizing gel treatment.

Once your teeth and trays are clean, you can use the desensitizing gel treatment the same way you applied the whitening gel. I simply twisted off the removable cap and pressed the plunger to squirt a thin line of gel across the front inner surface of the trays. Then, I inserted my trays and waited for the cooling gel to relieve my sensitive teeth
. 

All in all, this part of the process only took 15-30 minutes - and then I was done!

After Whitening...

Post-whitening, your teeth might feel a little sensitive still - and that's okay! If you experience excess sensitivity between sessions, whiten your teeth every other day until you achieve 7-14 days of successive whitening. 

There are a couple things you can do after you whiten your teeth to ensure you have the best experience possible. First of all, you should not eat or drink for 30 minutes after completing the whitening treatment. Secondly, you should try to avoid coffee or tea for 24 hours after whitening. This is because whitening opens the pores in your teeth, and new stains can still enter those open pores. (For me, this is nearly impossible - I admit that I've cheated more than once so I could still have my morning latte! But it really does make a difference in lifting the stains from your teeth if you avoid staining drinks like coffee and tea.) 

Finally, don't forget to keep up this whitening treatment for 7-14 days as recommended: successful whitening requires consistency! Once you achieve your whitest possible teeth, it takes very little effort to maintain them for the rest of your life, so make sure you take the time to really do this process right to get those perfectly-pearly whites you dream of :)

The Results

Personally, I got great results using the Smile Brilliant sensitive teeth whitening system. I only experienced discomfort during one of my four or five whitening sessions, after which I decreased my whitening time to 30 or 45 minutes at a time. That pretty much solved the problem and allowed me to continue whitening as usual!

One thing I will say is that you shouldn't expect all staining to be removed by Smile Brilliant, or even by whitening through your dentist's office. Also, if you continue to eat staining foods and drinks, you might want to repeat this process once a year or so! (Since I can't go a day without my morning coffee, I'll definitely be repeating the Smile Brilliant system next September.) 

Still not convinced? Here's an "After" photo to show you just how great the Smile Brilliant system worked for me:

#WhileIWhiten

As I mentioned in the how-to, Smile Brilliant's whitening system takes some time to do its job. Don't get me wrong: I'm super thrilled with my results, and can totally confirm that Smile Brilliant works. However, 45 minutes to three hours is a long time to wait for a busy college student! 

That's where Smile Brilliant's hashtag #whileIwhiten comes in. Whitening your teeth doesn't have to be a single-tasking activity, people! You can easily multitask while you're wearing your trays to be as productive as possible while still taking care of your smile.

Don't believe me? I've got just the thing for you! Here are some real-life photos of what I do #whileIwhiten so you, too, can get a glowing smile without falling behind on work or school.

Beauty Rituals

Any other beauty routines you love to do before you go to sleep at night? You're in luck! In fact, Smile Brilliant even recommends whitening your teeth before you go to bed to avoid introducing any staining foods while your teeth are still sensitive.

One of my favorite beauty products lately has been the Jergens Natural Glow Fair-to-Medium Daily Moisturizer. This is an amazing self-tanning product for us pale girls because it allows you to build up color gradually without feeling like an Oompa Loompa. Wearing my whitening trays while I'm applying my self-tanner makes me feel totally put together like nothing else!

Previously, I've also used whitening my teeth as an excuse to have a spa night or self-care ritual before I wind down for sleep. I'll put my trays in, slather on a face mask and let it dry while I give myself an at-home manicure. Not only is it tons of fun, but it's also a lot cheaper than a day out at the traditional spa.

Catch Up on Reading

If you're catching up on readings for class, why not put in your trays and sneak in a whitening sesh while you're at it? Whitening is a great activity to do while you work on homework because it requires zero effort whatsoever: you simply stick your trays in and forget about them!

You could also try reading a book for fun while you whiten your teeth. Reading for pleasure is one of my favorite activities, but it's one I don't have time to do nearly often enough. Curling up with a book you can't wait to read while you whiten your teeth sounds like one of the best self-care nights ever, as far as I'm concerned!

Relax on Your Phone

Whitening your teeth should be a relaxing, beautifying ritual - it shouldn't stress you out! However, if you find yourself nervous or on edge about the results of your whitening process, you might want to pull out your phone and download a calming app or two.

Headspace and Stop, Breathe & Think are two meditation apps you could try which were recommended to me by my current therapist. Meditating while you whiten is one of the best combinations I can think of because you get to treat both your mind and body at the same time! So, grab your headphones, lay back and relax: as a busy college gal, I promise you you've earned a night off.

Best Tips for a Brighter Smile

Obviously, if you're interested in getting whiter teeth from your dorm room and learning more about Smile Brilliant, you're probably looking to achieve a brighter smile. As I can tell you from experience, whitening my teeth with Smile Brilliant changed my smile like nothing else - but that's not the only component of achieving those shimmery pearly-whites you crave.

To get a whiter smile, you've got to be committed to doing what's healthiest and happiest for your teeth (without going crazy, of course). By that, I don't mean swear off coffee forever and only brush your teeth with baking soda, but there are definitely some simple adjustments you can make to your daily routine to help your whitening process run more smoothly. Here are some of the tips I learned from my research that you might want to consider as you're working with the Smile Brilliant system:

• Drink green tea. Bad news: your favorite morning espresso might be one of the reasons why your teeth are never quite as white as you'd like! But the good news? Swap out that coffee for green tea and you'll get health and beauty benefits as well as a whiter smile. Click to try one of my favorite blends, the Tazo Zen Green Tea.
• Wear red lipstick. This is one of my favorite top-secret tricks for a brighter smile! While wearing red lipstick won't actually change the color of your teeth, it can make it seem like your teeth are whiter against the contrast of your bold lip. On the other hand, pink lipsticks might make your teeth seem yellower than they actually are. My Holy Grail red lipstick? The stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick in Beso.
• Drink through a straw. Believe it or not, what you drink out of matters almost as much as what you drink when it comes to reducing enamel stains. According to Cosmopolitan, drinking through a straw reduces direct contact with the surface of your teeth, keeping your newly-whitened smile shiny and bright all year long. All the more reason to sip your water through a cute tumbler cup (like these two from Lilly Pulitzer) than an ugly steel to-go mug! 

P.S. Want to try Smile Brilliant's whitening system for yourself?

Luckily for you, I've got just the thing: Smile Brilliant has kindly agreed to give away one of their premium whitening kits to one lucky reader from Haley Marie Blog! All you need to do is visit the link below to enter the giveaway and maybe just maybe win a free Smile Brilliant whitening system kit ;)

Click here to enter to win $139 in Smile Brilliant credit!

Giveaway Rules:

• The giveaway is for a $139 Smile Brilliant credit.
• It's open to residents of the USA, UK, Canada and Australia.
• You must enter your email to win. The giveaway is hosted through Smile Brilliant's internal platform, so you don't have to worry about email privacy!
• A winner will not be chosen until we receive 25 entries, so be sure to enter today! (It's 100% free.)

Plus, even if you're not the lucky winner, you can always use my referral code haleymarieblog10 to get 10% off your order from Smile Brilliant. So, what are you waiting for? Click here to scope out Smile Brilliant’s products ASAP!

What's your best tip for a brighter smile? LMK in the comments below!

Tooth Whitening Gel

Dainty Jewelry Trends for Fall (5 Under $50)

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, aka sponsored links that help keep Haley Marie Blog alive. But don't worry - all of the opinions are still my own!

Hello, beautiful! Wow, it's been awhile since I last wrote a 5 Under $50 post - so here I am, trying to get back into the swing of things. Wish me luck on keeping it up! (And on that note, do you guys love, like or dislike my 5 Under $50 series? LMK @haleymarieblog or in the comments below!)

Today's post is all about one of my latest obsessions for fall: jewelry! Specifically, I'm in love with feminine, dainty pieces with thin chains and small charms. Basically, the smaller the necklace/bracelet/earrings, the more likely I am to love it.

My Back-to-School Beauty Lookbook

Hello, beautiful! I haven't done a traditional beauty post in a long time it feels like, so I decided that this week I was going to go back to my roots as a beauty and wellness blogger and put together a back-to-school beauty lookbook for you.

I surfed through every last inch of Pinterest to put together three super easy, super gorgeous looks for the back-to-school season. With just a few simple products, these looks will take you from day to night and back again in no time at all.

Don't forget to let me know your thoughts on these looks @haleymarieblog on social media - and especially tag me on Instagram if you decide to try any of them out for yourself! :) So, without further ado, here are my three easiest back-to-school beauty looks for you to wear and enjoy.

Bold Lips & Bronze Eyes

As "bold" as this look is by my standards, I love it because of how glowy and neutral it is! Even though you still get to have the fun of playing with lip color and bronzer, this look isn't so out there that people will stare (in a bad way, I mean) when you walk through the halls. Plus, in my opinion, there's no color palette more perfect for fall than these shades of gold, taupe and mauve. 

Featured products:

Too Faced Peach Frost Melting Powder Highlighter ($30.00)

Tartelette in Bloom Palette ($45.00)

Too Faced Brow Envy Kit ($39.00)

Too Faced Sweethearts Bronzer ($30.00)

Benefit Sun Beam Highlighter ($26.00)

bareMinerals GEN NUDE Buttercream Lipgloss ($18.00)

Bobbi Brown Natural Brow Shaper ($28.00)

Essie Nail Polish in Bordeaux ($9.00)

The "No Makeup" Look

More often than not, I tend to go for the "less is more" makeup look. This look is perfect for me because when I'm running late for class, I can do it in five minutes, and when I want to look a little more glam, I can add a few extras like nude eyeshadow or a my-lips-but-better lipstick. Best of all, this look enhances the most beautiful part of your body: YOU! 

Featured products:

Benefit Hoola Matte Bronzer ($29.00)

Lipstick Queen Nothing But the Nudes Lipstick ($24.00)

Becca Liquid Crystal Glow Gloss in Opal x Jade ($22.00)

Too Faced Better Than Sex Waterproof Mascara ($23.00)

Anastasia Tweezers ($28.00)

Anastasia Clear Brow Gel ($17.60 - get it while it's on sale!)

Tarteist Pro Cruelty-Free Lashes in Flirt ($12.00)

Charlotte Tilbury Rock 'n' Kohl in Bedroom Black ($27.00)

Kiki Health Raw Virgin Coconut Oil ($24.00)

Skin and Tonic Naked Lip Balm ($4.99)

Covergirl Clean Matte BB Cream ($8.49)

My Going Out Look

I don't know about you, but for me, a special night out is all about the glitter! I love being bold when I go out because it's one of the only times you won't get weird looks for taking a chance on a new product or makeup look. So, don't be afraid to try something you've never done before - and just go for it, girl! 

Featured products:

bareMinerals Invisible Bronze Powder Bronzer ($28.00)

NYX Eyebrow Cake Powder ($5.99)

Urban Decay Moondust Eyeshadow in Cosmic ($21.00)

Smashbox Be Legendary Triple Tone Lipstick in Red Ombre ($24.00)

Stila Smudge Pot in Black ($20.00)

Smith and Cult Lash Dance Mascara ($28.00)

NYX Liquid Crystal Body Liner in Crystal Silver ($4.49)

Urban Decay Urban Lash ($15.00)

Herbivore Coconut + Sea Salt Beach Wave Mist ($20.00)

NYX Face and Body Glitter in Crystal ($5.99)

What are your favorite makeup products for fall? LMK @haleymarieblog or in the comments below!

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10 Ways to Change the World While You're Still in College

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, aka sponsored links that help keep Haley Marie Blog alive. But don't worry: all of the opinions are still my own!

Hello, beautiful! If there's one thing I know all my readers share, it's the ambition and determination to be a force for change in the world. Whether it's majoring in bio so you can help cure cancer or joining a social justice organization to stick up for human rights, Haley Marie Blog is written for girls like you who want to change the world! 

That being said, it's easy to feel powerless when you're in college. After all, we're almost universally overwhelmed by studying, extracurriculars, work, tuition and student loans. (IDK about you, but my student debt is a lot bigger than I feel most of the time.)

However, even if you don't have the time, resources or opportunity to become the next Malala or Melinda Gates, there are plenty of small micro-actions you can take while still in college to help make the world a better place. From getting involved on campus to practicing educated consumerism, here are ten ways you, too, can change the world from the comfort of your dorm room!

1. Join a service organization.

No matter what you're interested in, I can 95% guarantee your college offers a group for people like you - and if not, start one! Lots of service organizations have plenty of resources on their website to help you start your own chapter at your college or university. Some of my fave organizations? Girl Up, Generation Citizen and Peer Health Exchange, which all have chapters at BU.

2. Shop cruelty-free.

How cruel is your makeup bag? If you're a fan of brands like Benefit, L'Oreal or anything owned by Proctor & Gamble, you might be surprised at the number of animals harmed to bring you your favorite lipsticks and eyeshadow palettes. Thankfully, some of my favorite brands like Too Faced, Tarte, Wet 'n' Wild and NYX are committed to bringing you humane beauty products that actually work. To see some of my favorite products from these brands, click through their links - and for a full list of cruelty-free brands you can trust, check out this list from Cruelty-Free Kitty, which is constantly being updated with the latest news in cruelty-free! 

(P.S. Watch Hannah Witton's candid YouTube vid of her tossing her cruelty-free makeup products for an eye-opening laugh!)

3. Brew your own coffee.

Brewing your own coffee at home is great financial advice - but did you know it's also a great way to help change the world? The primary reason is because you can control what brands of coffee you buy, to ensure you're getting your fave beans fair trade. If you haven't heard of fair trade products before, Fair Trade Certified products come with a guarantee that the product was produced under fair labor practices, direct trade (instead of distributing product through a middleman or oppressive corporation) and without harmful agrochemicals or GMOs. For more information on Fair Trade Certification, click to check out Fair Trade USA's list of FAQs. (And pro tip: Starbucks coffee is also fair-trade if you're an espresso snob like me!)

4. Sign up for L.

To take your ethical shopping to the next level, donate those icky, chemical-laden tampons and Trojans under your sink and sign up for an L. subscription instead. L.'s pads, liners, tampons and condoms are organic and chemical-free, minus the gender cliches. For every box you purchase, one is donated to a female entrepreneur in a developing country (because in case you didn't know, AIDS and teen pregnancy are some of the top reasons girls drop out of school in African nations, where condoms can go out of stock for two-to-three months at a time). Personally, I use L.'s monthly subscription service, where for just $10.95 per month (and free shipping!) I can choose any combination of pads, tampons and liners I need (and also skip a month whenever my cabinet's looking a lil full). To get your second box of L.'s hygiene products 100% free, click here to sign up to try L.

Oh, and L.'s condoms get phenomenal reviews, too. (I can neither confirm nor deny, since I have a latex allergy; as of now, they only offer latex - but who can argue with "the best condoms ever"?) 

5. Buy school supplies from Yoobi.

Next time you need a notebook, highlighters or yet another pack of post-it notes for class, turn to a brand that will donate that item one-for-one to a child in need. Not only is Yoobi's stationery absolutely adorable, but it's a simple way to help the public school system thrive. For example, did you know that 99% of teachers purchase essential classroom materials out of their own pockets? So, feel free to treat yo self to some gel pens or throwback erasers - because, you know, it's for a good cause and all.... *Spends $50 on stationery I don't need.* 

6. Try alternative spring break.

Most schools have a program that allows you to spend your spring break traveling with a group of students to perform service in a different state, or even country. Though it might sound like a drag to give up your spring break, these trips can actually be super fun, life-changing experiences! One of my best friends from home went on alternative break last year in Tennessee with a group of her best friends - but even if you don't know the people you're traveling with, it's an amazing way to meet new people and explore a new place while helping those less fortunate than you. Search your school's website (try the community service center to start) for a preexisting program - or petition your university to start one if they don't have one already! 

7. Run a 5K.

We all know exercise is good for us, but my favorite type of exercise is exercise that benefits others, too! This fall, I'm captaining my sorority's team for the Samaritans, Inc. 5K. Samaritans is a Boston-based organization that works to prevent suicide through its 24/7 helpline and provides support services to those who have lost loved ones to suicide. (Click here to donate to Samaritans through our team - every donation helps, no matter how small!) Even if you're not a runner, you can join or start a team for a 5K and work your way up. (For an added bonus, train using the Charity Miles app, which tracks the miles you've run via GPS and donates money to a charity of your choice accordingly!) 

8. Start a Relay for Life team.

Last year, Relay for Life was hands-down THE most fun service event I attended through Theta (it's where I got to know my roommate Arielle!). There was walking, chatting, henna and games, as well as the most beautiful ceremonies to honor loved ones who lost their battle with cancer. I highly recommend seeing if your school has a Relay for Life and starting a team - and if you don't have a Relay for Life at your school, check out the Relay for Life campus page to discover even more ways to get involved.

9. Go vegan!

In case you didn't know, I have been fully vegan with no slip-ups for about five months now. However, the very first time I tried to go vegan, way back in high school, was after I saw the film Cowspiracy. I watched it with my best friend from home, who is also vegan/vegetarian, and was shocked to find the enormous impact that eating animal products - yes, even if you don't eat meat! - has on the environment around us.

If you haven't seen Cowspiracy yet, here are some facts from the film explaining why you should go vegan to help save the environment:

• Animal agriculture is responsible for 18 percent of greenhouse gas emissions - more than transportation exhaust! 
• Agriculture-related emissions are expected to increase 80% by the year 2050.
• Agriculture consumes 80-90% of the United States' water supply.
• 2,500 gallons of water are required to produce just one pound of beef.

If that won't convince you to go vegan (or at least adopt Meatless Mondays), then IDK what will, people.

10. Shop at Amazon Smile.

Of all the ways to change the world in college, this one might just be the easiest: instead of typing in www.amazon.com when you go to shop on Amazon (gotta love that Prime), go to smile.amazon.com. When you do, you'll be asked to select a charity you believe in - mine is the ASPCA - and Amazon will donate a small portion of each purchase you make toward that charity. However, while this is one of the easiest, most mindless ways to do some good in your everyday life and I 100% recommend it, you should also be aware that not all items on Amazon are eligible for Amazon Smile. So, if an item in your cart isn't Smile eligible, purchase it separately or consider shopping around for an alternative that is!

Want another easy way to get involved? Comment your favorite charitable organization below + challenge yourself to make a donation to someone else's charity! 

(I will donate $5 to the first charity posted.)

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Tips for Your First Tattoo + My Tattoo Story! #ProjectSemicolon

Trigger warning: This post details my experiences with anxiety, depression and self-harm in some detail, so if you're triggered by these things, try checking out this post or this post instead!

I am proud to be a supporter of Project Semicolon, an organization dedicated to helping others recover from mental illness, with particular emphasis on suicide and self-harm prevention.

If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

Hello, beautiful! Today on the blog, I'm sharing a long-overdue surprise: I got my first tattoo! Technically speaking, I actually got this tattoo way back in late July, but I wasn't sure if I should post about it or not, since the story behind my tattoo is actually quite personal and raw. However, I decided to take the plunge, to raise awareness for Project Semicolon and hopefully inspire anyone who's A) scared to get their first tattoo or B) struggling with a mental illness.

Once upon a time, I firmly believed I would never have a tattoo because I thought I'd never be able to decide on what to get and commit to getting it. But ironically (as you'll hear more about later in this post!), when I finally did decide to get a tattoo, it was on a total whim. In fact, the idea just came to me - kind of like a message from God. How cool is that?!

In honor of my first tattoo, I'll be sharing the story of how I decided to get my first tattoo, what it felt like to get it and what the healing process was like. (Over a month later, my tattoo is now fully healed!) Additionally, I'm going to share some tips for getting your first tattoo, so you'll know what to expect if you ever decide to take the plunge. So, let's get started!

My Tattoo Story

I know I posted a trigger warning earlier, but I just want to reiterate for anyone who might have missed it: this part of the story gets a little intense in dealing with my experiences with mental illness, so if you're triggered by anxiety, depression or self-harm, try checking out one of my other posts instead!

In case you didn't know, I suffer from clinical anxiety (Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or GAD, to be exact) and depression. I've struggled with these disorders in some form for as long as I can remember, but they really didn't begin to take over my life in a negative way until my sophomore year of high school. 

That winter, I just remember feeling really low about my life for no reason at all, fighting with my mom and my (now ex-) boyfriend over stupid stuff and bursting into tears at the drop of a pin. That episode, which was my first depressive episode ever, lasted about three to four months. Once it was over, I looked back on it and realized that I had been depressed and that one of the reasons why was that I was super anxious about school and my relationship. 

After the word anxiety popped into my head for the first time, I thought more about a lot of my neurotic behaviors that I'd once deemed a combination of stress and "just my personality," and many parts of my past just started to make sense to me. For example, my mom loves to tell this story about when I was four years old and firmly believed that I was going to die from a paper cut. As funny as that seems to me now, thinking back on it I can't help but think of how anxious I must have been, even as a very young child.

Though my anxiety story may seem random in a post about my tattoo, they're actually deeply interconnected. In fact, my mental illness was 100% the reason I decided to get a tattoo in the first place, in honor of Project Semicolon.

Here's the part of the story that gets really difficult for me to admit online, but that's the most crucial reason why I ended up getting this tattoo: for me, part of dealing with anxiety and depression also means recovering from self-harm.

I hate to say this, but while I've gotten really good at managing my anxiety levels in my everyday life, I still don't feel like I've learned the coping strategies I need to de-escalate my anxiety when I'm in the middle of an attack. And, since I also suffer from depression, I'm prone to beating myself up and mitigating my self-worth when I'm in the middle of an intense episode of anxiety. I start thinking things like "I hate myself for having an anxiety attack right now" or "I screwed up, I'm worthless" (often, I have anxiety attacks like these after big fights with Ryan, friends or family). 

About a year or two ago, I developed a negative coping strategy of harming myself to deal with these negative thoughts. Namely, I scratch myself. It started with me digging my fingernails into my arms so hard they would leave marks, to distract myself from the mental pain. Now, I try my hardest to refrain from harm in the middle of these attacks, but I'm still working on it - and occasionally, I've even made myself bleed from scratching my arms so hard and so violently. 

When I do these things, it feels almost like a wild animal is taking over, or a completely different person. It's not that I dissociate to the point where I don't remember doing it, but afterward, I always wish I hadn't done it. I always get this sinking feeling that if I had been my usual self, I would have reacted differently. But that's the thing: it's my anxiety, and it's my depression, causing me to self-harm. It's not me, so it only makes sense that I don't feel like myself when I self-harm.

Anyways, now that you know the backstory you need to know, I'll try to cut to the chase. Jump forward to the month of July. It was the last week of camp, and I was driving with my arm out the window, the summer sun shining down...when I noticed my scars for the first time.

I used to think that scratching wasn't a "real" form of self-harm. I never thought I could do enough damage to make myself bleed, let alone leave a mark. But I can and have done both of these things, albeit unwittingly. And the thought of that completely overwhelmed me with sadness, disappointment and resentment - after all, I like to pretend that I'm fully, or at least almost fully, recovered, but really this is the middle of my story with mental illness. I'm nowhere near the finish line yet. 

Realizing that hurt like hell.

But, almost in the same exact moment, a random idea popped into my head. I wanted to get a semicolon tattoo, on the wrist of my left arm (the arm I scratch when I harm). The thought was so impulsive, and so crazy out of character for me, that I can't even explain it. But just like that, I found myself driving to the nearest tattoo parlor on a total whim, without any prior research.

I chose the semicolon because of Project Semicolon, a movement where people draw or tattoo semicolons on their wrist to raise awareness for suicide and self-harm. According to Project Semicolon, a semicolon is used when an author could have chosen to end his or her sentence but decided to continue instead.

I chose a semicolon tattoo because no matter how bad my anxiety and depression got, I always wanted to remember that feeling of determination never to self-harm again - and never to let it get to the point of wanting to take my own life. My tattoo was a decision to heal from my anxiety, depression and self-harm. And, with some of the things that have happened in my family since I got my tattoo (which I won't disclose since they're extremely sensitive personal matters), I'm so glad that I solidified my commitment never to let mental illness take over my life again.

I can only describe it as an act of desperation. I never wanted to hurt myself again or leave any more scars. I wanted to leave something there as a permanent reminder of my commitment to overcome self-harm.

By the time I got there, my heart was practically beating out of my chest - but I walked in like everything was totally normal, and I was completely fine, and I said to the girl at the front of the tattoo parlor, "I want to get a price quote for a tattoo."

The price of a tattoo depends on its size and difficulty for the artist - things like many colors or intricate designs really jack up the price. Since my tattoo is tiny and was expected to cause little trouble, I only had to pay the shop minimum. If I'd wanted one of the artists to do it, it would have been $85, but since I got mine from the apprentice, it was only $60. 

For my tattoo, I had to lay down a deposit of about $40 prior to my appointment. Then, on Friday when I came in, I only had to pay $20, plus a tip for the apprentice. I didn't have to do much prep prior to the tattoo - just make sure that you're well-rested, well-fed and well-hydrated since all of those things can make a tattoo less painful! (More on that later.)

On Friday, I came in to actually get the tattoo right after a long day breaking down from summer camp. The tattoo artist began by helping me choose the size, font and placement of my tattoo. Then, she shaved my wrist to ensure there was no hair over the tattoo area and applied a stencil exactly where I wanted the tattoo. After the stencil was on, she tore open a brand-new needle, dipped it in ink and began the actual process of tattooing!

To me, the tattoo process wasn't extraordinarily painful at all (and I have an EXTREMELY low pain tolerance, so that's saying a lot!). Some people say that wrist tattoos hurt more than anything they've ever experienced since the skin is very thin and close to the bone/some major veins; to me, it only hurt the way it does when my cat sinks her claws into my arm. (So, I guess the best way to prep for tattoo pain is just to get a cat! J.K.)

When the tattoo was over, she covered it in plastic wrap, which I was allowed to take off after only an hour (since my tattoo was so small). I had to wash my tattoo three times a day for two weeks. For the first few days, I also had to apply Aquaphor ointment and then switched to Lubriderm lotion (or another hypoallergenic brand) for the rest of the healing period.

Healing was pretty painful - like, more painful than the actual tattoo - for the first one or two days. The area was so swollen and tender I could barely touch it, but the pain faded as the tattoo began to heal. The worst part of the healing process was the flaking and the clouding, which left me wondering if my tattoo would come out looking as good as I hoped it would - which, it did! It just takes some time for your tattoo to heal and reach its full vibrancy and potential.

All in all, I'm super happy with the results of my tattoo after healing. I'm super thankful I decided to get this tattoo, even on a whim. And besides - as I told Ryan and my family when they were shocked that I came home from getting a tattoo, I know I won't ever regret it because the story behind a tattoo is just as meaningful as the tattoo itself!

Things to Know Before Your First Tattoo

Okay, so now that we've gotten the heavy stuff out of the way, here's the fun part: helping you prepare to get YOUR first tattoo! If you're thinking about getting a tattoo, that's perfect. If not, that's fine, too! Tattoos aren't for everyone, that's true - but we do need to get to a place in this society where we can respect each other's differences, as far as ink is concerned.

I do want to take a moment to say that let's try to be respectful in the comments when it comes to our opinions on tattoos! I know some people in my family have strong opinions where tattoos are concerned, and you might, too. However, nearly 50% of the people I know at college have some sort of tattoo, so it's pretty clear that tattoos aren't just for delinquents or criminals anymore. YOU don't need to be part of that statistic - but you definitely shouldn't judge someone who is, either! Everyone has the right to get (or not to get a tattoo), and everyone deserves respect - no matter which decision they choose to make.

Rant aside, here are my top tips for getting your first tattoo! Whether it's the pain you're worried about or staying healthy and safe during aftercare, here's everything I learned from losing my tattoo virginity:

Before You Get a Tattoo...

• Don't worry about the "rules." And I'm not talking safety rules here - you should definitely follow those! But when it comes to sayings like "you should wait a year to make sure you still want it," don't listen to all the noise. Only you know yourself better than anyone else, so only you get to decide when (and if!) you want to get your first tattoo. Besides the obvious age restrictions - in my state, it's 18 or 16 with a parent's permission, but yours might be different! - there's no one right time to get your first tattoo. So, follow your heart and make your own decisions when it comes to when you want to get inked! (And whatever you do, don't Google "tattoo horror stories." EVER.)
• Be prepared for a financial commitment. If there's anything I regret about my tattoo, it's that I didn't plan a budget for it in advance. A tattoo isn't just a commitment for life - it's also a significant commitment to your wallet. Since my tattoo was so small, it only cost the shop minimum, with a discount for going with the shop apprentice; however, larger tattoos, tattoos with lots of intricate details or tattoos with many colors can cost hundreds of dollars, so ideally, you wouldn't just waltz into a tattoo parlor and slap down a $100 deposit without doing a little planning first. 
• Choose a tattoo artist you trust. For me, it was important to go with a female tattoo artist. I didn't feel comfortable spending that much time with some random dude hovering over my wrist. Plus, I wanted someone I could trust and get along with so I wouldn't be nervous about carrying on a conversation, on top of getting the tattoo. So, if you know there's a certain kind of tattoo artist you're looking for, then don't be afraid to shop around until you find exactly what - and who - you want! Remember: this piece of art is literally going to be on your body for life, so there's nothing wrong with being a little picky.
• Scope out the scenery before you commit. It's totally okay for a tattoo parlor to look, well, like a tattoo parlor in the front lobby. However, the actual workspaces should look just like a doctor's office: pristine white, hygienic and with a secure box for disposing hazardous waste (like used tattoo needles!). If you can't see the workspaces well enough from the front lobby, don't hesitate to ask for the artist to show you around before you lay down your cold, hard cash.

The day of the tattoo...

• Please, please, PLEASE eat and drink water before your appointment! This might be the most important thing to take away from this entire post: do NOT go into your tattoo appointment without eating or drinking. Kind of like giving blood, being dehydrated makes it more difficult for the tattoo artist to painlessly insert the needle - plus, not eating increases the chances that you'll get woozy when you see that gun going in.
• Don't take any pain medications. I learned you're not supposed to take painkillers like Tylenol, Aleve or Advil before you get a tattoo because these medications are technically blood-thinners. In other words, taking these meds increases your risk of excess bleeding and bruising when you get a tattoo. If you're really worried about the pain, ask your doctor or tattoo artist about what you CAN use to numb the pain! You might be able to get a topical anesthetic to apply to your skin before the appointment, which will help numb and soothe the area without increasing your risk for bleeding.
• Be clean and wear comfy clothing. Remember: you're spending at least twenty to thirty minutes in close contact with another human being! Even if they are paid to spend time with you, it's only respectful that you show up to your appointment showered and smelling great. (Not to mention, smelling bad increases the risk that your artist might rush the tattoo and you'll wind up less-than-enthused with your brand-new $100 ink.) So, do yourself and your artist a favor and take a shower before you head over - and when you get out, put on the comfiest clothes you own. After all, you'll definitely be sitting awhile! 
• Know EXACTLY what you want. If you can bring pictures, print-outs or hand-drawn art to the appointment, even better. My tattoo would have gone by so much faster if I didn't spend so much time fussing over the size and font of my semicolon. That being said, don't feel pressured to follow a tattoo artist's "vision," no matter how supposedly brilliant or up-and-coming they are. Regardless of what that Yelp reviewer says, this tattoo is going to be on YOUR skin forever - so you shouldn't feel pressured to bend to the artist's will just so they can add another credit to their portfolio.
• Don't be afraid to ask questions. If you're feeling confused or nervous about the process, I find it helps to ask the tattoo artist to walk you through what they're doing step-by-step. A great tattoo artist will do this anyways, but sometimes even the best of the best get so caught up in their craft that they forget there's actual human flesh beneath them. So, ask as many questions as you want - and if you feel uncomfortable or want to chicken out at any point, it's ultimately your decision whether or not you get this tattoo. (And just a side note: if you see any indication that the tattoo studio might not be 100% sterile - i.e. it looks less than medical in the workspaces, not just the lobby, or you can tell they're reusing needles/ink - don't walk away: RUN!!!)

After the tattoo...

• Follow any and all aftercare instructions RELIGIOUSLY. The quality of your aftercare ultimately determines the quality of your tattoo after it heals. Obviously, since you just invested tons of time, money and pain into it, you're gonna want that baby to look as fresh and new as possible for the long-haul - so you're gonna want to do anything your tattoo artist says to do to keep it looking spick and span. Oh, and alternatively, if anything sounds fishy to you at all (not in an "it's not what I read on Buzzfeed" way, but in a "that doesn't seem right/sanitary/medically accurate" kind of way), don't be afraid to get a second opinion from another parlor or your doc.
• Tattoos heal in three stages: scabbing, flaking and clouding. The first stage of healing lasts only a few days while the scabs from the tattoo heal; this stage is the only stage when you might still feel a bit of pain, whether that sensation feels more like burning, stinging or aching to you. After the initial healing stage, your tattoo might look a bit weird as the scabs and dead skin start to flake off. My tattoo flaked for about a week before it reached the third and final stage: cloudiness. Once your tattoo flakes, you're waiting for a new layer of skin cells to return to the surface of your raw skin, so your tattoo might look a little faded or cloudy until that happens. For me, this lasted about a week before my new skin grew in (so to speak) and my tattoo returned to its full sharpness and vibrancy.
• Here's what aftercare looked like for me: for me, aftercare meant wearing the plastic wrap around my tattoo for an hour or two after the appointment. Once I removed the plastic wrap, I gently washed the tattoo with soap and water and applied a thin layer of Aquaphor healing ointment to the area (as my artist told me, we're talking "chapstick thin" here). I repeated this process 3-5x per day for the next two or three days. Then, when it became clear the second flaking stage had begun, I switched from the Aquaphor to Lubriderm lotion (you can use any old hypoallergenic lotion you want) and repeated the same process until my tattoo was fully healed - about three weeks later, in my case. During those three weeks of healing, you should avoid submerging your tattoo in water in any way, so I took showers, not baths, and avoided swimming at all costs! That also means you should be showering (or at the very least, cleansing the area of your tattoo) anytime you're exercising or otherwise sweating for a prolonged period of time. 
• Don't re-wrap your tattoo. Like I said before, my tattoo artist wrapped my tattoo in plastic wrap before I left the studio and I wore the wrap for 1-2 hours following the procedure. This is pretty standard practice, so chances are, your tattoo artist will wrap you, too! However, it's EXTREMELY important that once you remove that initial plastic wrap, you don't try to wrap the tattoo again under any circumstances (unless otherwise instructed by your artist or doctor). This is because when your tattoo is initially wrapped, the wrap is put on in a completely sterile environment free of bacteria - but obviously, at home, this is rarely the case. Your tattoo is technically considered an open wound while it's still healing, which provides the perfect portal of entry for ordinary bacteria from your home to leave the plastic wrap and enter your tattoo, leading to a painful and potentially deadly infection. So, in my opinion, even though it's not good to get your tattoo wet (one time, my big wrapped her new tat to go to a frat party because she was worried someone would spill on it), it's better to just avoid wrapping the tattoo yourself altogether than to risk a horrible infection.
• Don't pick at or itch your tattoo. Especially when you're going through that awful flaking stage, you're gonna be tempted to pick off the pieces of dead skin or scabs from your tattoo, or itch the itchy, dry, tight skin surrounding your new ink. Even so, resist the urge! Picking at or itching off the scabs covering your tattoo basically re-opens the wound, allowing bacteria to enter your bloodstream from your fingers and potentially cause an infection. For the same reason, you should always make sure your hands are as clean as possible before touching or washing your tattoo - and you really shouldn't touch your tat unless absolutely necessary (like when you're washing it). 
• Know the warning signs of an infected tattoo. Your tattoo shouldn't really hurt past the first week at most - so any pain past the initial healing stage isn't considered normal, and should be checked out by a doc to rule out infection. In addition, you should also watch out for fever, chills, swelling, pus, redness or abscesses while your tattoo is healing, and see a doc if any of these symptoms occur. Worst of all, keep an eye out for any signs of sepsis or shock, such as a super high fever or black ink spreading through nearby veins - and if you see these signs, be sure to head to an ER right away to get urgent life-saving care. 

Time for another #HMBQandA! What would be your dream tattoo(s) if you had unlimited money and weren't afraid? LMK @haleymarieblog or in the comments below! 

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The Definitive Guide to Going Greek Your Freshman Year of College

Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links, aka sponsored links that help keep Haley Marie Blog alive and well. But no need to worry - all of the opinions are still my own! :)

Hello, beautiful! Most of you probably know this already (I rarely shut up about it), but I'm a proud sister of Kappa Alpha Theta, the first Greek-letter fraternity for women. Going Greek completely changed my life (and not in a corny way at all!), which is why I'm here to tell you all about why I decided to join a sorority my freshman year of college.

While my college, Boston University, holds formal recruitment (aka "rush," though we're technically not allowed to call it that) every spring, many colleges hold recruitment during the fall semester - or, if you go to a big Southern university, sometimes even before classes start (you can check out my ultimate guide to sorority recruitment by clicking here!).

So, since many freshman girls are likely thinking about the important decision that is going Greek, I wanted to weigh in and give my opinion on why going Greek might just be the best thing that ever happened to me - or one of them, at least :)

Me and a few of my sisters during our Bid Night celebration (note how I stick out like a sore thumb in my cardigan - don't judge me, it was cold!)

My Greek Life Story

Flashback to one year ago, and I was not the confident campus leader I am today. Back when I was in high school, I loved my extra-curricular activities, like Girl Scouts and the Young Democrats club - but when I first came to college, I didn't know what I wanted to do, or where I might fit in.

I joined the student newspaper because I originally thought I wanted to major in journalism (read all about my decision to change my major by clicking here) - and while I ultimately made friends there, they were just my "newspaper friends" to me. I never had what I wanted, which was a group of girls I could text at any given moment to hang out or just be there for me. 

Feeling as lonely as I did my first semester was a huge struggle, and I know it's one reason why a lot of girls I know decided to go Greek - including me! I loved Boston University when I was touring it as a freshman, but I just didn't feel the connection to the people at my school that I wanted to feel. I knew I shouldn't transfer - after all, I loved my classes and the School of Communications is ranked highly in the U.S. and worldwide - but I just didn't know where my home was on campus, and I struggled with making friends in a natural, organic way.

Me & my big, Riley (who is sadly abroad in Dublin right now!)

When the sororities' first open houses came around, I wasn't sure if I should go or not. I remember feeling torn as to whether or not signing up for recruitment was the right idea. After all, sororities have a bad reputation (more on that later), and I knew my parents, my friends at home and my boyfriend would worry I was going to change if I joined.

Later on, I actually ended up going to an open house with one of my best friends first semester (a friend-of-a-friend from the paper). I listened to the girls talk about why they joined and how they found their forever homes at [insert-chapter-name-here]. I was so captivated that that night, as soon as I got home, I paid my non-refundable fee to sign up for recruitment in the spring. From that moment on, I literally could not wait to find the chapter I would call home! 

Recruitment was a grueling, emotional process that left me with a lot of mixed emotions about joining a sorority - but on Bid Night, when I opened up the envelope that sent me running toward my sisters in Theta, I knew I had found an extra-special group of women to call my sisters. 

That night, I found out one of my best friends from the paper, and another older girl I knew there, were both in Theta. I met my big during our Bid Night celebration, when we were matched up so she could introduce me to all things Theta. And I shared pizza and long, intimate conversations with some of the girls I now call my best friends. 

Since then, I constantly tell people that my sisters in Theta are the best thing to happen to me at BU. For starters, there's Arielle (check out her blog by clicking here), who I met in our Facebook group and decided to room with on a whim - now, she's probably my best friend at school besides my big. There's Riley and Haley, who make up the other two-thirds of the lion fam - I still remember walking into our friend's apartment and yanking wrapping paper off of Riley the night of our reveal! (Read my post on big/little week here.) And then there's Hannah, Regan, Shannon, Claudia, Courtney, Courtney (yup, you read that right - we have lots of double names in Theta! For one thing, we have four Haleys), Anna and so many other girls who I now call my BFFs. In fact, I'm 100% certain I'm forgetting someone because there's just so many Thetas who are near-and-dear to my heart!  

I know it sounds cheesy, but becoming a Theta changed my life. (And this girl's. And this girl's. And this girl's. Oh, and this girl, too! Wonder who that could be in the front row... ;) ) So, my advice to any girl who's thinking about #GoingGreek is, just do it! You can decide after you join whether or not you want to continue, so why not just take a chance on the thought that you might just surprise yourself by loving it just as much as we do?

Me and my roommate Arielle, throwin' what we know at formal! 

Common Myths About Greek Life

Okay, so Greek life changed my life - but you might still ask "So, what?" After all, there's so many stereotypes out there about Greek life that joining a sorority could seem like either the best decision of your life, or the worst.

Ask any Greek woman you know, and there's pretty much only two types of answers: either she always knew she would be a part of Greek life - her mom's an alumna, her sister went Greek or she's just always wanted to be a [insert-chapter-name-here] - or she never, ever thought in a million years she would join a sorority. But if, like me, she's part of the latter group, chances are there's something that changed her mind - and it was probably hearing from a Greek girl about what going Greek is really like!

Contrary to what the movies would have you believe, going Greek isn't all shotgunning Keystones and streaking through the quad. And contrary to what the news would have you believe, most sororities won't make you do something crazy, dangerous or illegal to become a part of their chapter! 

In fact, to prove to you how wonderful and downright normal Greek life can be, here's a list of the top five most common myths about Greek life and why they're all false! 

• Myth #1: Greek life is just one big frat party. Actually, no: Greek life can be a serious activity that adds to your resume and your life. Greek life is also a big commitment, especially financially - paying your sorority dues can get pricey! So, no - paying for Greek life isn't just paying for bottomless kegs of beer and one-night stands with frat boys. I won't lie and say there aren't any parties or boys involved ever, but there's also many more important things to be gained from it, like sisterhood and leadership experience! 
• Myth #2: I can't be in Greek life if I don't drink. This myth is SO false! Many girls in Theta (myself included) don't drink alcohol for a variety of reasons. (For example, I can't drink on my anti-anxiety medication.) The same is true for a number of sororities. However, there's always a few for whom drinking is more important than others, so be sure to keep an ear out for any talk of dirty rushing during recruitment - and maybe move those sororities to the bottom of your list.
• Myth #3: Being in a sorority means you bought your friends. I hate when people say this. Like any club on campus, a sorority has dues. Those dues just tend to be more expensive because you're paying for things like venues for date party and formal, your sorority badge (which can cost upwards of $100), any freebies you get from your chapter (like bid day t-shirts) and all those fun activities with your sisters. So, no - Greek life isn't free, but that doesn't make the bonds and friendships you form any less genuine! (And if you can manage to find a club on BU's campus that is free, hit me up.)
• Myth #4: I have to be best friends with every girl in my chapter, or what's the point? Um, no. Sororities are like one big, happy family - and like any family, there's always drama (and that one weird relative that no one likes). Biological sisters fight, feud and sometimes don't even speak, but that doesn't mean they're not sisters at the end of the day! Don't feel pressured to hang out with negative people just because they're your sisters - and especially don't judge a sorority based on one girl you meet. True, most girls are let into a sorority because they have something the chapter likes, but it could also be the case that she has an old friend in the chapter, she's a legacy or she was super fake during recruitment. Whatever the case, try to keep an open mind and judge everyone you meet for who they are, not for who their sister is! 
• Myth #5: I'm a legacy, so I'll automatically get into [insert-chapter-name-here] (or I'll only get into [insert-chapter-name-here]). If you say this to me during recruitment, you're darn right I'm judging you - but not because you're a legacy. First of all, it's completely rude to assume you'll get into any chapter (and chapter women are explicitly not allowed to tell you you will - that's called bid promising, and it's a big no-no in Greek life). Secondly, you are NOT your family member! Just because your mom or your sister or your aunt's cousin's friend was in ADPi or Phi Mu or whatever the heck sorority doesn't mean that's the right sorority for the unique person who YOU are. So, if you're worried you'll wind up a cookie cutter of your family member, don't worry: if you're not into a particular sorority, the girls will know that (and if they extend you a bid anyways just because you're a legacy, you can always say no and try again next year). Likewise, if you're a legacy, feel free to mention it once - in a very subtle way, of course - but don't push it! If you're excited about the chapter, that will shine through during recruitment - and chances are, we'll rank you highly for it! :) 

All of that being said, this wouldn't be an article about sororities if I didn't address everyone's number one question: hazing! The traditions of every sorority are top secret, and only entrusted to the members of that particular sorority, so I can only say with any real authority that Theta didn't make me do anything weird or wrong to get in. There was no alcohol involved in either rushing or pledging, and I wasn't made to turn around in front of frat boys in my underwear to get "rated." 

However, I will take a moment to acknowledge that those rare few sororities that dirty rush or otherwise haze PNMs are out there - there's probably at least one at every school - and if anyone ever makes you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, you should always, always, always take it up with your school's Panhellenic Council (aka Panhel)! Because Greek life should be a fun and safe experience for everyone, and nobody deserves to miss out on all the sisterhood and opportunities it has to offer just because of a few crazy girls :)

Good Reasons to Go Greek

As with anything in life, I believe there are two types of reasons to go Greek: Good Reasons and Bad Reasons. I know, I know - nothing in this world can be THAT black-and-white. Deciding whether you want to go Greek or not can be an extremely complicated, highly personal decision that shapes who you are for the rest of your life (or something that's NBD - Greek life is what you put into it, after all!). But there's at least a good number of common reasons for joining that are totally legit, and quite a few that make me cringe when I hear them. For example:

• "My mom/sister/friend was a sister." So? Are you joining Greek life to make THEM happy, or joining it to make YOU happy? Answer this question, and then you'll know if you should really be signing up for recruitment. 
• "I want to meet guys/go to parties." Trust me, there are way better ways to meet potential hookups than joining a sorority. (Frat guys suck.) Get an account on Tinder, make a friend who knows where the parties are at and join Greek life when you're doing it for YOU. 
• "I want to go to Bid Day." Girl, I know Bid Day can be a big effin' deal, especially at big state and Southern schools - but if all you want to get out of Greek life is one big party, you're better off following suit with the hundreds of other non-Greeks who somehow show up to Bid Day each year. (JK. Please don't be that person!) Though if you do go Greek, you can get some pretty cool free merch from your sorority on Bid Day, since the chapter usually orders custom gear from sites like Greek U for the occasion!

On the other hand, there's many more Good Reasons than Bad Reasons that you can and should go Greek if the bug bites you! Greek life is an amazing community that doesn't exclude anybody from becoming a part of it (at least, if the system at your school is functioning the way it should be) - and as such, there are many benefits to joining it. If you're anything like me, you'd much rather focus on the positive parts of srat life - so here are some amazing signs that Greek life might be the home for you. If you find yourself thinking...

• "I want to meet people who are like me, yet unique in their own ways." As a part of Kappa Alpha Theta, me and my sisters all have some common threads that link us. For example, the girls in our organization focus on the values of Faith, Hope and Love, as well as tenants like sisterhood and scholarship. Everyone you'll ever meet in Theta is guaranteed to be a #LeadingWoman - yet that doesn't mean we're all cookie cutters of one another! While my big Riley loves video games and anime, I'd much rather be reading a cheap romance novel or self-help book off the dollar shelf at B&N. While my friend Hannah is an amazing radio DJ and journalist, I quit my journalism major after I found out it wasn't right for me. Me and my sisters aren't clones, but we're cut from the same cloth - and whenever I meet a Theta out in the world, I know she's at least going to share a couple core values with me no matter how different we may seem on the outside.
• "I'm looking for more leadership and service opportunities." I can't say it enough times people: sorority life is NOT all about the partying! Being a member of Greek life offers you opportunities other college students simply don't get, like being vice president of a 100+ member organization or raising over $1,000 for your sorority's philanthropy. Personally, I've already grown so much as a leader and as a volunteer since becoming a member of Theta - for example, I'm now Day Chair for our chapter's Pref Night (Formal Recruitment 2k18, I'm comin' for ya!) and our Team Captain for the Samaritans 5k for suicide prevention. So, if these sound like the kind of opportunities you're looking for (not to mention resume lines, am I right or amirite?), it's definitely worth considering becoming a part of Greek life. In fact, most of the chapter women I know who say they never imagined themselves as a "sorority girl" took the plunge for that very reason!
• "I want to network with like-minded women across the globe." Girl, if you want to automatically become Facebook friends or LinkedIn connections with hundreds of incredible women, then Greek life is the place for you! Not only will you meet tons of amazing Greek girls in your own chapter, but you'll also have opportunities to connect with members of your organization across the country (and Canada, if your srat is anything like Theta!). Plus, there's always your sorority's alumni network for making new connections, which definitely comes in handy when you're hunting for jobs - and friends - later in life. 

...then Greek life might be the right fit for you! So, if Greek life sounds at all interesting to you, start looking into your school's formal and informal recruitment opportunities, Google its chapters (but definitely do NOT trust Greek Rank) and get to daydreaming about your future BFFs-slash-sisters. In my opinion, it's much better to register for recruitment and drop out because it's not your thing than spend the rest of your life wondering about the sorority sisters that could have been.

The Ugly Truth About Greek Life

Okay, this is going to seem like a complete 180 from the sunshine-and-rainbows opinion of Greek life I gave before, but I feel like the definitive guide to going Greek couldn't be complete without mentioning this: Greek life is most certainly NOT all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, it has a couple of prominent drawbacks that I wish I would have known more about going into it. And here they are:

• Greek life is tied to party culture. It is true what people say in recruitment: you CAN be in Greek life without partying. But the fact of the matter is that the majority of Greek girls do choose to attend social functions and might choose to drink alcohol when they're there. I don't know why Greek girls are judged so harshly for their party habits, since truthfully, nearly everyone in college attends a frat party at some point in their lives - but if you do something stupid at a party, word will get around, and it will reflect badly on you and the other girls in your chapter. My advice? Don't judge Greek life too harshly for having parties - there are so many other benefits that far outweigh the bummer of party culture - and be sure to follow your sorority's code whenever you choose to attend a social event. (For us, it's the five "ups," which includes don'ts like drugging up, hooking up and throwing up at mixers.) In short, always keep it classy, y'all!
• You've probably read some scary news articles about Greek life. The hardest part of Greek life for me to reconcile is connecting the sad and scary things I hear about other chapters with the 100% positive experience I've had in my chapter. The news is full of stories where frat pledges drink themselves to death, sorority chapters haze new members by judging their naked bodies and a rape happens within the Greek system. As wonderful as Theta is (and I promise: I didn't experience ANY hazing or drinking whatsoever when I was initiated), I've even heard of sororities at my own school getting suspended for hazing or partaking in dirty rushing (i.e. when non-official, Panhel-banned parties factor into you getting into the srat). But here's the thing that those news articles - or your mom, who's probably read all 7,000 articles - won't tell you: that experience is NOT what Greek life is about. Most people think Greek life has rules that are made to be broken, but in reality, it's the opposite: it has extremely strict rules that take a major effort to be broken. Why do you think sorority houses avoid hosting parties, frats avoid letting in strange guys they don't know and you have to go through online alcohol and hazing education before joining a Greek organization? It's because Panhel is trying to protect you from a negative Greek experience because they know what good can come out of the Greek system. They know the difference between going to a frat party with your sisters and being forced to chug beers just to join a srat. Trust me when I say that the rules are working for YOU, not for the sorority sisters who haze or the frat boys who commit sexual assaults. 
• Greek life is EXPENSIVE. Like, we're talking $1,000+ a year expensive here. This is probably the item on this list I have the most experience with myself. This year, my sorority dues for the fall semester ended up being $300 more expensive than I was told to expect, and I wasn't prepared for it at all. If I hadn't argued my way onto a three-month payment plan, I might not have been able to be a part of Theta at all this semester, and had to go inactive until the spring. So, above anything else, I wish I would have saved up some extra money last year when I knew I was about to go Greek. It really would have helped when, on the downhill from the rush of big little week and initiation, I got slammed with a $600 bill I wasn't expecting.
• Greek life comes with a reputation. First of all, I'd like to point out that this is in no way YOUR fault for going Greek - it's the fault of the people who hold these faulty negative beliefs about Greek life. You shouldn't feel like there's anything wrong with being in a sorority just because somebody had a negative experience with it, or is jealous that they couldn't get into the chapter they wanted, or whatever personal reasons they may have for hating it. But the truth of the matter is that college still has mean girls, and those mean girls might talk smack about you or your chapter. They might say that sorority girls sleep around, party too hard or are full of air (which is funny, since on average girls in Greek life have some of the highest GPAs of anyone at their schools) simply based off one person they know from home, or a stereotype they saw in a movie (sorry Zac Efron, but I'm calling out Neighbors 2 on this one). 

"But Haley," you might be thinking, "why are you in a sorority, then?" To me, I think the prices I have to pay to be a part of Greek life are well worth the experience I've gotten out of it. 

Yes, I owe hundreds of dollars each semester to a Panhellenic organization, and I'm not entirely sure where the money goes. Yes, I pay a $15 cover each semester so I can go to frat parties and drink cheap Keystone beers (in a classy way, of course) with my sisters. Yes, I've heard whispers of that one sorority I'd never want to rush because of its dirty rush practices. But I also have met every single one of my best friends through Theta. 

I room with a Theta, whom I love half to death and swear is my long-lost twin from the womb. I serve our philanthropy, Court Appointed Special Advocates (aka CASA), with Thetas every year, and never fail to have fun doing it. I am one of the many leaders who goes into making Theta's recruitment a special experience for the hundreds of freshmen girls who choose to go Greek. And above all else, I identify with and love being a Theta more than I know how to express in words. I guess that's what it truly means to "think Theta" (kite sistas, you'll know what I mean): every word I speak, every breath I breathe, somehow takes me back to Theta. Theta and all of its unique values speak to the core of who I am - in an entirely non-cheesy way, of course ;)

I'm proud to be a Theta despite all the drawbacks of Greek life, and I'm proud to be an example of a chapter woman who's had nothing but a positive experience. Then again, I know not everyone can share my opinion of Greek life - but even if I can't convince you to rush, I hope you've at least developed a more open mind and considerate attitude toward the girls you know who are. Most of all, I hope that I could change your mind about what it means to you to "go Greek," by taking all of those outdated stereotypes and mixed media messages out of your brain and replacing them with my own personal experiences. 

What are your thoughts on going Greek your freshman year of college? LMK @haleymarieblog on social media, or in the comments below! 

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